I am super angry. whatever is whatever. Whatever you want to do Just Fucking go ahead DUN TELL ME!!!!!!! I dun give a damn!!! Its ur life ur choice.!!!!

Yeah goin to have a chalet with the buzzers in dec to celebrate Clarence and Gary's b day plus advance Christmas party.

I love Christmas cause its the festive of LOVE~~~


[Sugar]: The unforsaken promised love, vanished like the air in my hands.

My photoshoot is this Sat. GOD!! I havent start packing yet. I don't even know where to start with. Come to think of it I am kind of nervous. Hope everything will go well for me.

My new bed is coming tml. I cannt wait to have my new bed. With a new blanky and new pillow and new bolster and a new guy (opps I am dreaming). Its queen size so I have plenty of space to roll around. hehe and I can place my piggies on my bed so My piglet wun be lonely.

Have to repack my room for space. hmmm got to shift my computer table and book shelf. Baby say want to help me but he say only this weekend than can. so sian so long to go. =( than have to place my new bed outside arbo no place to put in my room. than I have to shift my old bed out too.

Hehe. so happy with my new buy. Baby say later tabao dinner for me again. =) issit he sweet? He say will buy my fav long john's clam chowder soup and fish. Than will go nutc buy some stock for my campbell. =) I simply love everything he do for me.

[Sugar]: For all in the world, its only her that he place. The veins of love coil in desperation to hold a name of faith. Thy name Lady Sugar.

Will I move on from where I am now?

Shit man I cannt sleep. Baby coming to my house tml. hehe. he is goin to stay over. Yeah. someone to pat me to sleep liao. He always do that in the past when he come over my place. YEAH!!! My big bed is coming next week. But nobody to sleep with me leh. Hmmmmm anyone volunteers? lol.

Perhaps the feelings that we experience when we are in love represent a normal state. Being in love shows a person who he should be.

I like these!!!


For all those men who say, Why buy a cow when you can get milk for free.
Here's an update for you: Now days, 80% of women are against marriage. WHY?
Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a
little sausage.

Men are like....

1. Men are like
Laxatives.
They irritate the crap out of you.

2. Men are like
Bananas.
The older they get, the less firm they are.

3. Men are like
Weather. Nothing can be done to change them.

4. Men are like
Blenders.
You need One, but you're not quite sure why.

5. Men are like
Chocolate Bars.
Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.

6. Men are like
Commercials.
You can't believe a word they say.

7. Men are like
Department Stores.
Their clothes are always 1/2 off.

8. Men are like
Government Bonds.
They take soooooooo long to mature.

9. Men are like
Mascara.
They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

10. Men are like
Popcorn. They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

11. Men are like
Snowstorms.
You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.

12. Men are like
Lava Lamps.
Fun to look at, but not very bright.

13. Men are like
Parking Spots.
All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped

Today went to baby's family gathering. so scary la. Than his uncle ask when are we getting married? For god sake me only 22 lor. I dun want to get married so young. Now enjoying life so confirm dun want to get married. Hehe.

Love the idea of single la. Get to go out with my friends w/o a bf than can chat more. No need to entertain bf.

Will a guy stay by you and be ur guardian even if he know there is no hope? I wonder can I ever find a guy like that. I am selfish but I really dun want a bf lor. so dun force me la.

Something I wrote few years ago. *Shock* I realise this is what I felt last mth. gosh.......


be frank about it....

if u want to go, u have to let me know
just be frank and i'll move on
coz i rather leave then stay in world of agony
looking forward to another someone who can apreciate me
its better then missing you and tearing my heart out


i am stronger then what u think
maybe if my heart screams, my tears drop
in the silent
this will lessen ur guilt and confusion
maybe telling u, i found someone new
someone better, u will feel better
but first u have to be frank
you got to let me know
that you wanna go

if you have the guts just shout it out
it better then leaving me hanging here
you should made the move to let me know
that its the end of our love road
i'll move and wun look back
even if it tears me out inside

i am stronger then what u think
maybe if my heart screams, my tears drop
in the silent
this will lessen ur guilt and confusion
maybe telling u, i found someone new
someone better, u will feel better
but first u have to be frank
you got to let me know
that you wanna go

just let me know that the game is over
i'll say good bye ......

Have u ever start to feel the fear when a guy's family start to accept you as part of the family?

I am feeling that now. Baby's family still dun know what happen between us. His sister is goin over to wales for long stay so they decided to take a family portrait and guess what!!! His mum ask me to go. Goshhhh... I was abit shock. erm not abit but very very. This is the first time I am feel so sad that the family actually treat me like one of them. 1stly we are not officially back together and I wun confirm marry him lor.

Haiz... baby treat me really nice leh. Yesterday he actually buy my dinner and tabao over to my house. Cause I was too tire to go out and get my own and too lazy to cook. I sleep only like 6 hours for the past 2 days. Having insomnia I think, not sure why. I have been sleep at 4-6 am in the morning and woke up ard 8++. Turning zombie soon. lol

Baby is really really nice to me. I don't understand why I am not touch which I am suppose to be. Of cause I do feel happy and comfortable with him. I always hold his hands and hug him when I feel like. But still...... I am not sure what I am thinking either.

I realise I am locking myself in a cell. To keep myself away from hurt or rather the potential hurt I might get. Sick of guys breaking my heart. Sick of having a bf either. I dunno what I want la. Just want to be me I guess. But I lost the "me" i am suppose to know or have.

Tire of the game call love. I rest my case.

Now playing - 最后一首歌

不能再看着你入睡　不能再给你安慰
不能再为你送咖啡　不能再当你的谁

＃但挂念是改不了的　不只你　舍不得
　如果只要一种快乐　你有他　就够了＃

＊回憾我会收藏着　这是为你　唱的最后一首歌
　感动我也会留着　这是为你　唱的最后一首歌＊

不能再拥抱或斗嘴　不能随时有你陪
不能再帮你盖棉被　不能亲密叫宝贝

REPEAT＃＊

每个音符都爱得深刻　是你的　是我的
我不是你故事的角色　不只你　舍不得

REPEAT

Went to Vivio City today. It is like omg. so crowded as if the whole of SG is there. Went shopping (OF COS!) and bought myself a pair if converse limited edition's John Varvatos. Baby has a pair and tot I will just buy pair so we can wear them out. ("couple" shoes). Anyway abit heartache to buy that pair at $150. Afterall its just a pair of sneakers. I realise I can buy like another 3 more items with that amt. Gonna learn to love this pair of sneakers.

Back date abit on the Primary School gathering. We (Kailin, Baby and me) were late. As usual I am the one who is late cause I have to rush to orchard from ubi. Meet up with then was suppose to have pepper lunch but end up at Yoshinoya instead cause we have to rush for out KTV session.

we had abit of fun in the KTV la. though ended with only me, Kailin and Liqin. After the session kailin had to go and meet her boss, Chris. So me and Qin went home together. Nopt say went home but we went to meet Terence for supper. As usual we chat and chat.

Everyone has change but Qin didn't change much. lol

Qin: Still as 38 as b4 but she ditch her princess attitude and has become more independant. That's good la. Which I feel la. career minded. I like that. Hope she will find her prince charming soon.

Terence: Wah kao I think he change the most. So studious now. Mr busy aka Mr Dino he really extinct guy on earth. erm hope he dun engross in his studies too much.

Shupei: OMG she now so pretty sia. she has an aura which I dunno how to describe wor. She is such a sweet babe now.

Tze Yang: Mr Forgetful. Dunno what is he thinking also. Cant believe the mummy boy is smoking now. Shock Shock.

I am so happy that we can meetup. We always stay near but we seldom meetup also. Must make an effort to keep in touch. guess we will prata often or majong often. hehe. Cant wait for the next meetup.

当心已死了 当我已不再爱了
我无法在爱你 我无法回到过去 （很抱歉）
请你原谅我的愚蠢 原谅我的执著
无法给你想要的爱 想要的拥抱

我知道你的爱意 对我的用心
我知道你的拥抱 对我的深情
我不能给你的感情 是我这一身的错过
I am sorry Baby.
这是我的损失

我无法忘记过去 放下那些回忆
如果想要再爱你 想再拥抱你
我得忘了他和我犯的错 请原谅我的残忍
无法给你想要的爱 想要的拥抱

我知道你的爱意 对我的用心
我知道你的拥抱 对我的深情
我不能给你的感情 是我这一身的错过
I am sorry Baby.
这是我的损失

This song come with cord. lol... anyone willing to help me sing it out?

When you're feeling lost in the night
When you feel your world just ain't right
Call on me, I will be waiting
Count on me, I will be there
Anytime the times get too tough
Anytime your best ain't enough
I'll be the one to make it better
I'll be there to protect you, see you through
I'll be there, and there is nothing, I won't do

Tata young's For You I Will

she is hot and sexy. I want to be like her la. lol.... must train my butt and tummy.

I have not compose songs for a long time. my lastest nothing to do creation and 1st complete compose in chinese. haha think my chinese has improve with the help of the computer.

当初的爱

每当夜里沉静时我会想起你 （对不起）
每当电话响起时我希望是你 （我想你）
一个人沉酒在这陌生的感觉 好怀念你的拥抱
我好想知道你是否也会想念我

这一个人的孤单 我会一个人走过
爱你 不过是当时的冲动
这个悲剧的剧本 也有个好的结局
爱情 你我都需要面对
不要对我有任何亏欠 爱情没有谁欠谁

记得你的出现 让我惊喜 （Thank you)
记得你的离去 让我流泪 (Its ok)
现在的我已忘了如何在爱 但谢谢你让我爱过
是否你也有同样的感触

这一个人的孤单 我会一个人走过
爱你 不过是当时的冲动
这个悲剧的剧本 也有个好的结局
爱情 你我都需要面对
不要对我有任何亏欠 爱情没有谁欠谁

只要你快乐我也就满足 （我爱你）
当初的美好只要记在心理 这样也就足够

谢谢你曾经用心的对我

This weekend was great. I have attended My cousin's wedding and guess what when the bride and groom grace down the asiel it was playing DT's 爱很简单. It bring me near to tears. I like this song and seeing them make me thing of something. Haha

AFter the dinner went to fisherman with Coleen. I was already abit tipsy when I reach there. lol. So ordered a strobe and a jug of beer later on. Treat his gf some drink. Strange.. so strange we chat like erm we know each other very well. Haha.

Anyway left shortly cause was having a headache and went to Baby's house to sleep. He stay up all night waiting for me. hehe so sweet of him. When I was about to doze he suddenly switch on the light pass me a small pearl purple box which wrote "Taka Jewellery". Damn I was too shock to react or even dare to open the box. Finally he open it up for me. OMG! Its a diamond pendant and total of 0.4 caret. For god sake. No guys have even bought me anything diamond. I was so touch by his effort to make things right. Its in a shape of firework. It means beautiful things dun always last but they are memories to be kept and treasure.
But this pendant show otherwise it means that firworks in real cannt last but it can be made into something else that do last. haha. whatever but I love the pendant alot.

Love ya.

I wonder does platonic friendship exist?

I have a guy friend whom I talk to about everything under the sun. From my life to the intimate. He is there when I need him the most. When I need help he will appear to save me. Nice guy right? He's not baby but another guy in my life. Not my exbf either.

I know him since I am 18-19. It has been 3 years if I am not wrong. We sort of lost contact cause he had a gf he love alot. One fine day he called me crying. I was damn shock cause he is a player in my eyes. A player that nv say die. lol. Nv expect him to cry or get upsad over a girl. That's when we regain the contact.

We chat with each other often but we nv have that attraction. Maybe I know too much about him. He is a smart guy and with bright future, not bad looking and a sweet talker. This is how I look upon on him.

Usual people will say "wah lao he so nice to you must be he like you la." I realise how nice of him when things happen. I was dead drunk that very fateful night he was there throughout the whole night taking care of me. When that thing happen he hear me cry out. Sobbing over the phone and even offer to company to the doctor bla bla bla. Nice chap right? If a guy was to do that for you I am sure you will fall in love with him. BUT I didn't strange thing was he nv fall for me either. SInce I am such a nice girl. (LOL real loud)

He once told me that I am a nice girl friend as in friend he dun want to ruin the relationship. Which I felt the same way abt him. As I mentioned he is a player. He flirt around and always bring different girls home. Yet he didn't have that kind of tot on me. Sometimes talking to him make me feel I am losing my seductivity.

Though he is a nice friend but he also make me lose faith in guys from the way he do things. When I say I am locking myself in a cell to prevent myself from getting hurt he got worry and told me to see a counsellor cause this is not right. LOL. Than I told him "ehhh is you who made me feel this way de leh."

He was also the one that made me realise how stupid I was to do things for someone who dun love me and should have treasure the one that love me. He is also the one that brain wash me through the whole phase. Lucky I have him in my life.

When I was out drink he is also the one that tell me not to drink too much and if I am drunk pls give him a call. Where got guys so nice de. So hard to believe a guy can treat me so nice when he is just a friend.

All I want to say is

Dal, Thanks for being there when I am in need of some support as a friend. I hope our platonic friendship will remain as it is now. I will remember the help you gave me and if you need a listening ear I will always be there even if I have a bf. Though you always say if I have a bf you wun contact me that often cause the guy wun be happy. Thanks for being totful I am really glad I made a guy friend like you.

One last thing Please use protection when You are fooling around. Mai get AIDS liao come crying than say want to bite me so that I can company. I am not cursing you but a gentle reminder. I hope you will find what you are finding one day.

Friends forvever and I am not a player girl like you la. I maybe loud and open BUT I am not a player. I am just a girl who are more open to things between girls and guys. On top of that I dun go around breaking people's heart leh. Super nice to bf execpt for one la.

我会好好过 - Nicky Lee

＃你的爱很像泡沫　太轻或太重　都不在手中
　我的爱就像天空　太放或太收　你都只是风
　你来过　却爱上自由　你出走　我不问理由＃

＊我会好好过　等你再爱我　总有个角落　会让你想起我
　我会好好过　等你再爱我　向右或向左　都有我站在这里守候＊

REPEAT＃＊

你留下很多　够我面对寂寞　寂寞不重　纵是爱太多
我会好好过　当你回头　看到的一定　是我

REPEAT＊

LOL a joke I saw last night and made my morning bright. I was luff my ass off when i saw this joke.

Who say Kancil cant run?

One day, an uncle was driving on the highway in his CLK (cute little
kancil)when the engine started to choke. He quickly stop the car by the side
just in time before the engine died off. So, the uncle open the hood and see
la. Just a few minutes after, a young man was cruising in his Mitsubishi
Lancer Evo 9 on the same highway. He quickly spotted the broken down kancil with the uncle standing beside it alone. Being a kind man, he pulled over right in front of the kancil to offer help. Having very little engineering
skills, the young man couldn't fix the problem. The man then came up with a
brilliant idea. He told the uncle that he has a cable in his boot and
offered to tow the kancil to the next toll house where he could get help.
The uncle agreed to that idea.

The uncle also added that if he feels that they are moving too fast, he would
flash the young man and also use the horn. So, the young man secured the
kancil to the back of his Evo using the cable.

And so, the young man drove off pulling the kancil behind it. At times when
they were moving too fast, the uncle would give the man a horn. After
driving for a while, a loud engine roar approach from the back. a ferrari
was approaching the 2 cars. As the ferrari came up beside the them, it gave
a loud engine rev to challenge the Evo. With the flame of youth burning in
him, the evo driver downshift can rocket off chasing the ferrari while
totally forgeting about the kancil tied to him. Just up ahead on the
highway, a couple of police officers were performing a speed trap. They
suddenly hear loud engine roars followed by turbo blow offs sounds
approaching them.

Vrrrooooommm...........kepish kepish......

After recording the speed, one of the police officer quickly used the radio
to contact the others setting a roadblock up ahead.

"Over over... this is checkpoint 1 calling checkpoint 2. Do u read?! There
are currently 3 street racers heading your way at over 240km/h!!! The first
car is a red Ferrari, you can't miss it. Following closely behind is a white
Lancer Evo!!! For the third car, you're not going to believe this. It's
white kancil. I repeat, it's a kancil. It's drifting very closely behind the
Lancer Evo. Not only that, the driver seems to be flashing high beams
towards the Evo while applying horn to tell him to move away. I think it's
going to overtake the Evo at the next bend...!!!"

I have said what I wanted to say that night. Feel good abt it. The path I am goin to move along and alone will be fine. Told you not to read my blog. later she not happy ar. I dun want to be the wall between you two.

Dar whatever has past has past. I dun want you to keep viewing my blog and think about my feelings. Whatever happen to me is no longer ur tai ji. Bi is learning to be stronger and move on with my life. Though i something secretly wish things nv happen between u and her. lol. Still I hope for the best for you. If you need a listening ear I will be here for you. Just call me you know my number. I wun change my number. =)

I am suppose to wake up at 0830 in the morning but cant really sleep now. cause Slept too much in the day. I am on MC today. lol. baby came and bring me to the doctor. Doctor say I took too much painkill so the gastric is not workin well. =..= he made it sound so horrible. That my gastric is havin a slight bleeding sign. I am scared by his words. He told me to eat normal. No more diet! I was never on diet what. I eat normal what... hmmmm must be weakling me. lol.

Must cut down on smoking. Been smoking like a chimmy these days. Hope I wun have any problem with my lung plus the haze is choking me everyday. Try to stay indoor.

My mum complain the electric bill is over shot this mth 200++ omg. i wonder how we use the electric sia. She say due to my operating of aircon 24hr. Ok my fault I am the only one at home who likes aircon. I cannt live without my aircon. Pampered little princes me. lol

Baby been so nice to me and I am glad he is. Ppl tell em to treasure him. I will de la. But I need sometimes for myself ma. I don't want to revolve my world around any guys anymore. I want to be myself that girl who can stand up for herself when she needs to.

Love every bit of my life now and I want to be happy about it. feel like changin my job. think I will after i get my bouns ba. want to try some PA job. any lobang to intro?


Meeting my primary sch friend in the evening. Goin to KTV again. lol. My fav spot. to voice out my ugly voice. lol. Hope they wun kill me.

Dont cry over someone who wouldn't cry for you.

Found this in a forum. Feel that its quite meaningful

In the presence of him, you pretend to ignore
him,and look away.
But hoping that he'll look your way.

But when he is no longer there, you look around to
find him.
And get so disappointed to know that he
is gone.

Although you are talking to someone else,
your eyes are fixed on him.

You find your textbooks filled with his name.
And in the midst of your school desk, you could
actually spot his name there.

Everytime your handphone beeps, you hope
to see his name.. When it's not him, you get so
depressed.

When your phone gets quiet, you have the
temptation to sms him.

When he doesn't reply, you let your
imagination run wild and get so sad.

Cos you feel unimportant to him. And
sometimes wonder, if he had even forgotten your
existance.

Three quarters of your handphone inbox are
his smses. And you find yourself unable to delete
any one of them. When you really have to, you
feel your heartache.

When there's a new movie out, the first
person you WISHED to watch with, is him. But
always end up watching it with your friends.

When people mention the words " Valentines Day",
The first thing that appears in your mind, is
his name.

You realise that your conversations with your
friends never fail to include him in your topic.

You worry if he would fall for someone else,
And it hurts when you know that the person
will never be you.

You find yourself getting so affected by just
one word or action from him.

Sometimes you get angry with him for some
reasons, and feel yourself hating him. But
once you see him again, your heart melts, and find
yourself loving him, once more.

You swore for more than a hundred times
never to sms him again, but found yourself sending
a message, and the receipient, is him.

You try to forget him, but got reminded of
your memories with him.

Many times, you force yourself to stop liking
him,
But found it even harder than killing yourself.

You try to convince yourself, that you dont
like him anymore. But find the person on your mind
to still be him.

While you are reading this, the one that has
appeared on your mind, is him, right?

Just like when I was typing this, it was him on
my mind as well, all the while.

Its tired to live in pretence and lies. You cant
avoid it. Love is cruel. It hurts, almost all the time.

<>

Relationships are like glass,
Sometimes it's better to leave them broken
than trying to pick up the broken pieces
because you always end up hurting yourself

It's difficult to find two hearts that are willing
to beat for each other. Only one aint gonna work..
It'll only end up in a heart break.

He's not gonna come and pick up the broken
pieces of you. Perhaps he'll just walk over you
with another girl by his side. Not you.

I know is hard to put down someone u love,
but u still must try. If not u won't know u will be
doing wat silly things.

<<>>

Guys r all the same de. If d gal is really urs,
she will come back to u no matter wat

Hmmmmmm I called him just now. (I know someone is goin to puke blood if he sees this). Was suppose to dial baby's number but I key in his instead, dunno know why. Than was hesitating should i press dial. Than think since i key le so dial lor. As expected he nv pick up my call. =)

Don't what is wrong with me sometimes I will sms the wrong person. When i dial in the number I will press his instead of the correct one. Think something wrong with me ba. Feel that I abit 没用. lol When I send the wrong person after i press send le than i realise. gheeezzz I scare later he think I purposely de. Who cares anyway. His biz not mine. lol

so hungry now wor. feel like eating something.

so sad..... most people say Leonardo look like drug addict now and they say his prince look is nicer. But i think he look nicer now leh. Maybe i am sick of baby boy look. lol.... Not my taste strange la just that i have diff taste ba.

Baby coming over to stay at my house later. SO happy... meaning someone to pei me talk tonite. Hehe.

Wish to see him today. He was so surprise when I said that i want to see him. cant imagine the cute smile on his face. Every tot of it make me feel abit sad though. Seem to lost the confident in relationship. Still I hope I will get back what we had one day. Baby, all I can say is you are the man. The man to make every girl's dream come true.

Went to Sakae Sushi with Baby today. His treat cause he got his increment. That means He will spend more on me... lalalalalala. He always say I am his future investment and he is waiting for the returns. All I can say this investment dun guarantee returns. lol

Anyway Sakae change their menu. they no long serve yasai miso nabei. SO SAD CAN!!!!! So i ordered beef minabe which turn out to be so erxin, the soup base is bland and the beef is tasteless....

I was so full today that my tummy is popping out. lol. After the dinner went to converse to see some limited edition shoes which baby want to buy. I kinda of like it but 150 bucks for a pair of sneakers seems like a waste of marnee. I rather spend it on the Missy Elliot's Adidas jacket. Which I think i will go and get it during Dec. I realise I have alot of jackets which I have bought and nv get to wear.

I am goin to put a tattoo soon with my inital the big "G" I am getting a friend to help me design so that it will be solely my own design. And another one on my ankle will be a secret. But I am still considering. Cause I am afraid I look like ah lian.

SHOULD I GET MY TONGUE PIERCED?

Eileen, Vincent, baby and me are planning a trip to place of golden horse. This is for a short break which they think I need and I think I need a break ba, to get away from SG for a while. Miss the good old times when me and baby went to KL. It was hell of fun.

I miss the way it used to be. Contend with what I have and treasure the people who care. waiting........*chu* =)

have you notice all the lyrics I paste seems to be saying deep from within.

我忘了 - Nicky

我不怪你借用　我的感情　如果你曾用过心
我学会不在乎　背叛的很安静　算了吧　就让你嬴

＊我忘了你犯了错（道歉的话别说）
　我忘了你犯了错（所以我不难过）
　宁愿保持沉默　心才不会被撕破＊

拜託回忆　能放过我

我知道是结局　所以不犹豫　悲剧不该走下去
要勉强的拥抱　没有理由继续　我选择　当首插曲
不恨你　不爱我　至少我们快乐过
我爱你　我恨我　只靠想念赶不走寂寞

REPEAT＊

请放过我

当爱不再是拥有　我不敢挽留　你会快乐　就足够

REPEAT＊

请放过我

REPEAT＊

拜託回忆　能放过我

Watched the departed yesterday with baby and his "bf" AKA Ron. Ohh myyyy the movie not exciting de. Should have watch death note instead. Haiz. But I tot have my idol Leonardo should be nice. Anyway his Body is ......... *DRooooollll. I love hunkified Guy. Or rather I love guys who has a nice muscle body. He is so sexy when he is nake~~~~~ I think he totally grow up from his baby face boy and I love the way he is now so cool and sexy.
If I find his sexy photo I will post it up.

After the movie we went to meet Ron's gf and head down to fisherman village for a drink and some snack. but I didn't eat much cause was too tire le.
Baby is so nice to me that he carred me home last night cause I was too tire. So sweet of him and he spend a night at my hse huggy me to sleep. Without the sexual part and I simply love it. He hug my head and kiss my forehead so sweet. I love that kind of kiss. Make me feel love.

Anyway you are my pee pee boy. our little secret.

Love is not about taking but is about giving. How much can I give him I am not sure. But I know he has give me his all. Thanks for all the love that you give me. Things have change but I really do know you love me. I will treasure you and try my best to make things work out again. Once I find back my feel and forget abt the past. We will walk for long.

Cant wait for my photoshoot.
Anyway I want the smile that used to plaster on my face

I have calm down alot over these days. Getting angry over certain things is of no use. I have to live on with what I have and had happen. I really regret letting you go that night but it has already happen so there's nothing I can do.

Things got better for me. At least I have him to care of me, making sure that I am ok. Fainted the other day, lucky he came over to my house to find me if not think no one will know that I faint. He is my hero.

After this incident I realise being too nice will nv get far. I will learn to be selfish just like you and her. I have done so much for you since you chose her than is your loss cause no other girls will do as much as I did for you.

If one day our path ever cross again than you return me the money ba. If we nv than take it as a lesson that I paid. If you ever get married let me know I will still give you a big ang bao but like what you said before I wun go for the wedding dinner. I dun want to be a wedding crusher. haha.

This song is by Pan Wei Bo 谢谢. The whole lyrics are saying what I want to say.
黄昏下的琴键太寂寞
来来去去只剩很拙的双手
陪着固执的我
不停弹奏不停地犯错
想起他为你唱歌时的温柔
我会笑着难过
他能给你保护　代替我的照顾
这是我最后的祝福

＊谢谢你的结束　冷却后的残酷
　谢谢你的知足　告诉我别再付出
　谢谢你的温度　记忆留在最初
谢谢你曾让我　幸福

不停唱着愈来愈清楚
想起你看他眼神中的满足
我学会了服输
他能给你保护　代替我的照顾
我只能偷偷地　为你祝福

repeat＊
谢谢你曾经让我　幸福

想着手心的感触
想着脸颊的温度
谢谢你那些年　为我付出

repeat＊
谢谢你曾让我们　幸福

I think I have really lost my coolness for the past few days. After I fainted that day I realise there is alot of things which I still want to complete in my life. You are not the one thing that I have in my life. I have tons of people who really do care for me. You are just some useless guy that cannt make decision and have to be lead by some girl. Sorry to say that but I really feel you are like that. If one day you grow up I will be happy for you and I will love you the same.

I will learn to take back my feelings. I love you once that why I am willing to do alot of things for you. I love you but I dun need to keep you by my side. You dont appreciate what I did and treasure it, than there is nothing I can do. I have tried my best and I wun have regrets on you.

I really hate the word "sorry" cause the words is so cheap that it really worth nothing. If you are really sorry than you should show it. Thus whatever sorry you and her had said I wun take it. I have show that I am really sorry by not pressuring you anymore. I will leave you alone.

once again our relationship end up crying and mess. If we ever cross again I hope we will learn from mistake. You still owe me one KTV session and movie be it one day we will do these as friends or we will never have a chance. You still owe me that. =)

I will go to NO.5 next week. Haha the place where you pick her up that night. Hope I wun be too drunk. If I ever call you at night pls dun pick up my call. I will be saying some drunk things which I dun mean it.

This will be my last post that I mention about this short relationship. I will put the past behind and live as usual. Hope this will make you feel better ba. Blame it on my feeling that I can help but to do things for you and ur feeling always come 1st. Like I mention earlier I will learn to be more selfish and think for myself rather than ur feelings.

I know you will read my blog. I cant promise that I will wait for you but I think I will at least till one day you get married or another someone that pass by and really take my heart away.

I am on the verge of breaking down.
I just want to leave the world in peace.

Still feeling tire and stomach cramp. The painkiller save my day. Baby is goin to meet me for dinner. He said bring me go and eat nutritional food. I was like duhz....

I tot he will boil some disgusting stuff for me. Hope he wouldn't. feel like taking MC since the doctor wanted to give me 2 days but I have alot of stuffs on hand. Working life sucks. Can someone make me a tai tai?

When things happen you will see things more clearly. I can really feel who truly care and who don't.

I love you.

It has finally end. For once I am glad that I am letting go. Though it is still hurting. As for you and her all I can say is I am sorry.

I am tire mentally and physically. I really need to rest and be back to my normal life.

To you: Never expect this ending. We are a mistake and hope we wun repeat the same mistake. Hope things will be back to normal for you. Hope she will forgive you one day.

To her: I am sorry to put you in this situation. I not sure what I did was wrong or right. Hope one day you will forgive him.

To Baby: You are the best thing that ever happen in my life. You are always there when I need you the most to support me. I am sorry I cant give you what you want. You deserve someone better than me.

disappointed with ur reaction. get the hell out of my life. I really didn't know why I would fall for selfish bastard. That made me into A BITCH. You just want to continue your life and left the rubbish for me. I really had enough. All you care about is her and you. Fucker! than what about me. you are so fucking happy now. Left me in distress. Get the fuck out of myself. Stop making me suffer, stop making me feel stupid.

Stop telling me sorry!! That's not what i want to hear. I dun want to hear sorry that dun mean a shit and the word is fucking cheap.

I really wish you had nv come back into my life. I really wish i was not stupid enough to see the true you.

I have only myself to blame.

was drank a few night. feeling really bad. Think my gastric is acting up again keep having gastric pain. Argh I totally hate it.

Lost the one I really love issnt very good. Wish to have him by myself but I know its impossible now.

Still remember clear you told me "사랑해요" it means means I love you　代表着我　离不开你.

But you still left me. I always tell myself human's words cannt be trusted but still I trusted what you said and left me in pieces to pick up by myself again. This is the 2nd time and I hope it will be my last.

I am still learning to walk away what was left behind. I hope one day I will. If I ever miss call you again means I miss ya.

I will try not to. I will try to be strong and wun cry anymore. I know you feel bad when ever U hear someone cry.

Sorry that I called you last few days and cry.

Did something which i am not suppose to on friday night. feel bad about it. I know I am hurting myself. I know I shouldn;t have done what I did that day. Like what Dal told me, I am always at the disadventage. All I want is to numb myself from the pain I am feeling.

When I get drunk things seems to be worse I will show my true feelings and I keep crying none stop. I cant help it to call you and I want to listen to ur voice. I felt so silly that I feel that way.

Anyway I am such a disappointment to people who truly care about me.

Last night went to Gotham penthouse to celebrate Coleen's 22nd B day. Its was so fun but as usual I am the 1st one to knock out. Weiwen has to support me in order to walk me out of Clark Quey. Nearly fainted 1/2 way walking out. Suddenly everything went blank.


Some photos that we took last night

I hate myself!!!!!! I told myself I will be happy when you patch with her. But I still cry, I still feel hurt. I hate myself to be so soft to you. I really want to breakfree~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why do I have to act like I am ok when I'm not. Why do I have to tell you its ok when I'm not. Why I nv stand for myself. Why I hurt myself!!!!! Why I am so silly when I face you. Why I lost myself when I am with you.

Can someone tell me why. I can wait for years just to be with him. Why I cant get him out of my fucking head!!!!! I hate the shit out of myself. I hate MYSELF!!!!!


I am blasting the music in my room I want to drown myself out. I dun feel like meeting anyone. I dun need anyone. I dun need ,.any guy to take care of me. I can survive by myself.

I will pass this fucking phase myself. I have to stand from where I fell. I can only blame myself for playing with fire when I know its fucking hurt.

I hate myself. Its retribution.

My friend keep asking me what happen. I was nv like that. I used to take things very easy. they said I use to say often "easy come, easy go". This is the 1st time they are seeing me crying for days over some guy. I really dunno what happen to me cause I nv felt this way before.

I am tearing but you will nv see it.

I just suddenly dun feel like seeing anyone. Just want to sleep like a pig. really tire. Lucky tonite I am goin drinking with Coleen and its her Bird day. Ah Blue, Grow old le la! LOL

Sometimes I wish that you would just open your mouth and tell me straight off you really want to be with her. Not some wishy washy stuff. This way I will feel better and will really let my feelings go.

I will really wish you and her the best. Even though I am sad and hurt but still at least you 2 will be happy. Maybe if I patch with him you will feel better. Than I will just do that and things will be easier for you.

I guess I really love you.

I am surprise at how things can change within 1 mth. Really feel bad that its me who went between which I didn't expect it. I will company you till you settle your stuffs. This is the least I can do for you now.

We wouldn't be able to go anywhere from here but I still want you to be happy. Sometimes in life we got to learn to make decision whether you like it or not. Its not a choice its a must. If you cant than you will not be able to move on with life and be stagnate for the rest of your life.

I do not wish to see you in a state where you lost someone you love. The feeling wouldn't be good. I feel it so I don't wish to be that.

I am for who I am. I don't want to lose my own character.

Bi will always help you no matter what. Be strong and fight for what you want.

I was so silly to believe what you said to me. So silly of me. I really dunno what I should feel now. I cant blame anyone. You made the right choice to chose her. I was too soft for you. she will suit u better. good luck to you and her.

Since the night when you went to fetch her I know I have lost my position in your heart. I cant believe I actually find the place for you and send u to her. If I had open my mouth and ask you not to go maybe things will be different.

You told me the next morning you are are back together, I cried even though I knew things will happen. The moment I knew you delete my photos I knew things are over. I was still having abit of hope yet I did not want to thrash ur relationship. For the 1st time in my life I felt uselss. I use to stand up for myself, open my mouth and ask for what I want. I was disappointed with myself when I just let you do things that you want and go with your way.

I feel so pathetic. I think I am the biggest joke of my own life.

We are nv meant to be and nv will be. I have waited for 4 years. Think its really time to let the story end.

ending will come someday and someway. At least it end this way we will keep the wonderful memories.

I really wish you and ur gf all the best. hope you will marry her someday. learn to love and be selfless at times. Dun waste her time, be good.

PS: i know u will read it someday. Just want to let u know I will be good and Bi is always happy. Bi will find what she wants one day.

I am sorry that I made you hurt her so much. I am really sorry.

I am feel so hurt now. I don't know what to say. i promise not to cry but I still did in the end. I dun know why I have to end things this way. I lost the control over myself again and again. Just because of him.

I dun even know why he is so impt to me. These years had past but still he is still so strong embeded in my heart. I cant seems to smooth out whatever mark.

Blue told me once bitten twice shy. I should have learn my lesson now. She told me that I will be losing in an emotional game. I guess I really lost this time.

For the 1st time in my life I actually scream and be firm on my decision, nv had I chose to be so firm about it. I really want to stop all these love thingy. It sux. I totlally hate it. I dun want to play it anymore. I just want to be a slut that flirt around. I just want to be that.

I am stupid and I hate myself. I will lock my blog up soon. can anyone teach me how ar? lol.

Sugar will try to be happy and happy. Sugar will always be pretty and cute. Sugar will be love one day. Sugar will marry someone that truely love me and only me. Sugar will miss you for the rest of her life. Sugar will remember this too. Sugar is hurt.......

PINK
"You Make Me Sick"


{Spoken}
They make me sick
I know I feel you, that's why we gotta stick together
Yep Yep Yep {laughs} I know it...

::Chorus::LyricsCafe.com::
You make me sick
I want you and I'm hatin it
Got me lit like a candlestick
Get too hot when you touch the tip, I'm feelin it, I gotta getta grip
And it's drivin me crazy baby don't you quit
Can't get enough of it
You got me goin again
Baby, you got me goin again
You make me sick

He was doing 8-0 on the freeway
In the 6 double O, bumpin Isley
He was gettin kinda close, kinda touch-ay
Cuz he had a little too much Hennessey
He told me that he wanna go home, with me up on the hill to my condo
Told me he would keep it all on the low-low
But I told him, "boo, I don't really know though"
He got closer to me...it started gettin deep
He had me in a zone when he started to show me things
I never saw before
Baby was smooth but I knew it was game
Hell-of-a cool but you men are the same
The way he licked his lips and touched my hips
I knew that he was slick

{Repeat Chorus}

In the 6 now, so hot
Gotta pull all the windows down
Eyes lead and I'm thinkin bout the sheets now
Wonderin should I really take it there now
He told me he would make it worth it
Again, how many times have I heard this
Kinda funny, but I wasn't even nervous
Well his slick-ass lines were kinda workin
I felt my knees get weak...his body was callin me
Just couldn't take the heat
Anyway it was 2 or 3, I had to get off the streets
Baby was cool but I knew it was game
Said, he was too schooled to be screamin my name
Even though we made the best of it
I still told him this...

{Repeat Chorus}

{Repeat Chorus 2x}

Can't..no no no
Oh, you make me sick
I want you and I'm hatin it...hatin it...hatin it

Getting tire easily and still having the rashes from the past few night of drinking. My legs are itchying like hell. argh.

I suddenly feel like not having any commitment and just want to flirt (my defination = no commitment yet I am good to ya) around for awhile. feel like meeting new people and expanding my friend circles.

I really wonder what you told me was the truth of just some humour. I cant seems to feel it now. You really feel more for me or you just say for the sake of saying. You some people can say for the sake of saying and humans cant be trusted anyway.

maybe I am just jealous I guess. Jealousy is the root of evil. i hope it wun sprout. lol

BUT you ahve to be evil inorder to live.

as we all know evil spell live maybe is just the coincidence of it. haha.

PINK
Leave Me Alone (I'm Lonely)

Go away
Give me a chance to miss you
Say goodbye
It'll make me want to kiss you
I love you so
Much more when you're not here
Watchin all the bad shows
Drinking all of my beer

I don't believe Adam and Eve
Spent every goddamn day together
If you give me some room there will be room enough for two

Tonight
Leave me alone I'm lonely
Alone I'm lonely
I'm tired
Leave me alone I'm lonely
Alone I'm lonely tonight

I don't wanna wake up with another
But I don't wanna always wake up with you either
No you can't hop into my shower
All I ask for is one fuckin' hour
You taste so sweet
But I can't eat the same thing every day
Cuttin off the phone
Leave me the fuck alone
Tomorrow I'll be beggin' you to come home

Tonight
Leave me alone I'm lonely
Alone I'm lonely
I'm tired
Leave me alone I'm lonely
Alone I'm lonely tonight

Go away
Come back
Go away
Come back
Why can't I just have it both ways
Go away
Come back
Go away
Come back
I wish you knew the difference
Go away
Come back

Go away
Give me a chance to miss you
Say goodbye
It'll make me want to kiss you
Go away
Give me a chance to miss you
Say goodbye
It'll make me want to kiss you
Go away
Give me a chance to miss you
Say goodbye
It'll make me want to kiss you

Tonight
Leave me alone I'm lonely
Alone I'm lonely
I'm tired
Leave me alone I'm lonely
Alone I'm lonely tonight

Tonight
Leave me alone I'm lonely
Alone I'm lonely
I'm tired
Leave me alone I'm lonely
Alone I'm lonely tonight

Tonight
Go away
Give me a chance to miss you
Leave me alone I'm lonely
Alone I'm lonely
Say goodbye
It'll make me want to kiss you
I'm tired
Go away
Give me a chance to miss you
Leave me alone I'm lonely
Alone I'm lonely
Say goodbye
It'll make me want to kiss you
Tonight
Go away
Give me a chance to miss you
Say goodbye
It'll make me want to kiss you

PINK
Respect

1 and 2 and 3 and 4
This my rap song

1-2-3-4
I get really sick and tired of boys up in my face

Pick up lines like "What's your sign" won't get
you anyplace
When me and all my girls go walking down the
street
It seems we can't go anywhere without a car that
goes "Beep-beep"

Cuz this body is a priceless piece of lovin'
unconditionally
So, Mr. Big-stuff, who you think you are?
You was thinkin' you's gonna get it for free
Now, now, now,

Hey ladies
(Yeah!)
Let 'em know it ain't easy
R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Let's come togeta'
Sista's
(Yeah!)
Its time to be greedy
Nothin' good comes for free

Mirror on the wall, damn I sure look fine
I can't blame those horny boys, I would make me
mine
When I pass you in a club, "Ooh, lala!" you gasp
Back up boy, I ain't your toy, or your piece of
ass

Cuz this body is a priceless piece of lovin'
unconditionally
So, Mr. Big-stuff, who you think you are?
You was thinkin' you's gonna get it for free
Now, now, now

Hey ladies
(Yeah!)
Let 'em know it ain't easy
R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Let's come togeta'
Sista's
(Yeah!)
Its time to be greedy
Nothin' good comes for free

Hey ladies
(Yeah!)
Let 'em know it ain't easy
R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Let's come togeta'
Sista's
(Yeah!)
Its time to be greedy
Nothin' good comes for free

No jealousy, no envy girls, c'mon, let's work it
out
No freebies in the limousine, that's not what its
about
Let 'em know there's work to do, give it up he
won't call you
Respect is just a minimum, go on girl and get you
some

1-2-3-4

Hey ladies
(Yeah!)
Let 'em know it ain't easy
R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Let's come togeta'
Sista's
(Yeah!)
Its time to be greedy
Nothin' good comes for free

Hey ladies
(Yeah!)
Let 'em know it ain't easy
R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Let's come togeta'
Sista's
(Yeah!)
Its time to be greedy
Nothin' good comes for free

Let's come together
C'mon girls let's work it out
Let's come together
We'll show them what we're talkin' bout
Let's come together
C'mon girls let's work it out
Let's come together
Let's come together
Let's come together
Nothin' good comes for free

Drool~~~~~~~

wentworth Miller.






This guy is a model that I saw during the FHM GND 2006
I dun know his name but his bod and eyes make me melt.....

I simply love Pink from the start of her first album. think she rocks!!!


PINK
Long Way To Happy

One night to you
Lasted six weeks for me
Just a bitter little pill now
Just to try to go to sleep
No more waking up to innocence
Say hello to hesitance
To everyone I meet
Thanks to you years ago
I guess I'll never know
What love means to me but oh
I'll keep on rolling down this road
But I've got a bad, bad feeling
It's gonna take a long time to love
It's gonna take a lot to hold on
It's gonna be a long way to happy, yeah
Left in the pieces that you broke me into
Torn apart but now I've got to
Keep on rolling like a stone
Cause it's gonna be a long long way to happy
Left my childhood behind
In a roll away bed
Everything was so damn simple
Now I'm losing my headTrying to cover up the damage
And pad out all the bruises
Do you know I had it
So it didn't hurt to lose it
Didn't hurt to lose it
No but oh
I'll keep on rolling down this road
But I've got a bad, bad feeling
It's gonna take a long time to love
It's gonna take a lot to hold on
It's gonna be a long way to happy, yeah
Left in the pieces that you broke me into
Torn apart but now I've got toKeep on rolling like a stone
Cause it's gonna be a long long way
Now I'm numb as hell and I can't feel a thing
But don't worry about regret or guilt cause I never knew your nam
I just want to thank you
Thank you
From the bottem of my heart
For all the sleepless nights
And for tearing me apart yeah yeah
It's gonna take a long time to love
It's gonna take a lot to hold on
It's gonna be a long way to happy, yeah
Left in the pieces that you broke me into
Torn apart but now I've got to
Keep on rolling like a stone
Cause it's gonna be a long long way It's gonna take a long time to love
It's gonna take a lot to hold on
It's gonna be a long, long, long, long way to happy, yeah
Left in the pieces that you broke me into
Torn apart but now I've got to
Keep on rolling like a stone
Cause it's gonna be a long long way to happy

Finally I made my decision. Just let it be this way.

I am so tire now and had been drinking on friday and sat night. It was bad on friday night I over drink and got myself drunk. Not really drunk but tipsy and Blue had to call baby and Dar to come and fetch me. Lucky only one came down if not I will flee the scene before they come down. I cannt imagine what will happen if they meet each other. Even the tought of it send a chill down my spine. In the end Baby came down to fetch me. He hugged me and pat me to sleep. the good thing was I didn't puke. haha I was still sober enough to know I cannt dirty my bed.

Sat met Kailin, Lev and Jayce for majong. This time I Lost $9 still ok la. Than went to Xiang and Sam's house and play majong plus drinking.

That's when I made up my mind and made my decision. Sorry to made you cry, I know I was at fault for this time. Everything is over and we will start all over again from the scratch.

I think this will do everyone good. To think about what we had, have and will be. I really straight out my tots over the weekend.

I am glad with what I have now. As for the future who will know what it behold.